Conflict
by ConfusifyingCristy
Summary: Nessa has had enough of this life that had backfired on her. Now, she wished on a star that she could die to make Boq happy. And what happens when her wish comes true, and Boq isn't ready yet? FIRST WICKED FIC!
1. When You Wish Upon A Star

A/N: heyy! This is my first Wicked fanfic. Please be nice! I love Bessa. Please feel free to review, alert, favorite, what not. So…yeah. ENJOY! I do not own 'Wicked'.

**Nessarose POV**

Disappointed.

Embarrassed.

Backfired.

The three words that would describe me the most. I try, and try so hard to keep up this 'cheery, happy' façade for Boq. My beloved munchkin. Now that I am the governor now, I've realized that it's becoming harder, and harder to keep it up. I keep failing, and I keep hurting. But that's not me, and this wasn't how it was suppose to end, oh no.

Staring outside my bedroom window, I look down from the dusks' moon. I just roll myself away from all of the horror. Sometimes, I wish I could just die. Right here, and right now. Why not? Everyone would be so much happier with 'The Wicked Witch of the East' gone for good. The munchkins would have their rights back, Boq would be free from my clutches, and I wouldn't be such a burden to my sister, Elphaba. Life would just be normal, no, better than normal; perfect.

My thought were interrupted when Boq knocked on the door.

"Madame, you seem awfully quiet in here. Is anything wrong, Madame?" Gee, apparently I'm not the only one keeping up a façade!

"Yes, Boq. I'm fine. And it's Nessarose, not Madame." by now, I think I know that he only calls me, "Madame" just to annoy me to death. Hopefully I will just be annoyed to my time right now, because death is more peaceful and easier than life. I don't even care if I am stuffed in the deepest darkest pits of Hell. But seriously, how stupid does he think I am?

I heard footsteps walk away from the door. I could just imagine him right now. Eyes rolling, hands in pockets, head down, and curses placed upon me. I hope he's happy now!

Then, my brain just hatched up an idea. I don't really care if it doesn't come true. I rolled myself back to the window, and looked up at the sky. Searching for the first star of the night. Searching, searching, yes! I stared intently up at the sparkle of light above me.

"Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight." then, I closed my eyes, and quickly said the wish aloud.

"I wish for my unforgettable, celebrative death as soon as possible." I quickly fluttered my eyes looking for any other stars. Nope, no others. Now, the last thing to the spell. Believe. Believe like there's no tomorrow. Make this wish everything I've dreamed of.

I smiled at the thought of dying, leaving Oz forever for the better, or not so better life. I rolled myself to my bed. Then, a wave of dizziness crashed into me immediately after I turned around. 'Yes!' I muttered under my breath. I closed my eyes tightly making the invisible roller coaster in my mind go much, much faster. Sure, it was nauseating, sure it was sickening, but it would all be over soon, and for a good reason: to make everyone else happier.

I rolled myself faster to my bed, climbed onto it, lay down and turned out my lights. This would be my last night for good. With the twists and turns becoming stronger, I squeezed my eyes shut, and that was the end of that.

**The Next Morning. . .**

I peeled my eyes open, noticing that my body was placed in an uncomfortable ball. I'm still believing that I will die by the end of today. Yes, it's all about believing! Dragging myself into my chair, there was a sharp pain that overwhelmed me. I groaned in pain, but it would all be worth it in the end. That's what I keep telling myself.

I pushed myself to the mirror. And was slightly shocked at my reflection. My face was pale, my eyes were bloodshot to the iris, my hair had lost it's shine, my lips completely lost their color. I'm surprised that I hadn't turned into a zombie yet!

I quickly put my hair up into a bun, and rolled my way downstairs to the grand dining room where my Boq will serve me.

I passed Boq who was in the library sitting in one of the chairs, deep in thought. Maybe he's thinking about how to escape me. No worries, because after today, I'm gone for good!

Suddenly, another nausea spell passed through me, and I closed my eyes, and did the best to keep going onto the dining room. I had one hand over my eyes--the twists were getting too strong for me, until I felt like being dropped down, and I fell out of my chair.

**A/N: How's that for a first chapter?! And, yes, I had to put in a cliffy. It just brings in more readers. I'll have the second chapter up in maybe tomorrow, or Monday. Review, because they make me happy.**


	2. Here She Lies

**A/N: Hello! Hello! It's good to see me, isn't it? Not need to respond, that was rhetorical! I love that line! Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, they really do mean a lot to me. This chapter is in the POV of Boq. So, ENJOY FELLOW OZIANS!!! **

Boq POV

_Maybe one night I could climb out the window while Nessa is sleeping. Maybe I could bother her so much with that 'Madame Governor' thing that she'll never wanna see my face again! Maybe I cou--_

I returned to Oz from my thoughts when I heard something make a loud thump from the hallway. _Pshhh! It's just nothing! I mean, it's not like Nessa. . .uh-oh! _I ran out of the library to find Nessa head first on the floor, wheezing. It looked as if she'd be having a heart-attack, but I know that she has the most healthiest health record in all of Oz!

Without further more thoughts, I ran for her.

I kneeled down to her using all of my strength to turn her on her side.

"Nessa! What happened?!" I asked--no, yelled to her. I took a good look at her, and she looked horrible! This is something I've never seen in all of my life! She looked so weak, and defenseless. Like that time 12 years ago when I almost confessed I only asked her out to the ball because Glinda recommended me to do so. Only 10 times worse.

"Boq --_cough--_ don't help me. --_cough, cough, sniffle, wheeze--"_

"How can I not? You look like you're gonna die!" she looked at me with now unhealthy, hazel eyes, and told me.

"--_cough, sniffle--_Something around those lines." What did she mean by that? Did she want this to happen?

Then, the most frightening thing happened to her. Closed her eyes. No matter how much strength she had put into trying to stay up, she fell on the floor, clutching her stomach, around where her kidneys would be. Tears hopelessly flowed from her eyes, but she was smiling! _She _did _want this to happen, did she!_ I sat down next to her, laying her head onto my lap.

She got into a full wheezing episode mixed in with furious coughs until a splash of red was captured by the hardwood floor. By now, I could feel my heart pound against my chest. After maybe a minute, it all stopped. No more coughing, but there was a huge puddle of blood next to me. I felt like my heart stopped, and it seemed she stopped, also.

I lay my first two fingers on her neck trying to get a pulse. Thank Oz that she still had one, but it was so weak I could've missed it. By now, my eyes were red and puffy from the crying! _No matter how many times Nessa annoys me to my dea--NO! I can't think, or say any of those horrible words at this moment! I can't believe this happened to my girl! But, all of the smiling. As if she doesn't even care that these could be her last moments? How could she want this to happen? What happened to my sarcastic, straightforward, independent cute little dictator?_

I sighed, knowing what I had to do. I turned her around so that her head was facing mine. Her face as pale as snow, her lips as red as a rose--her blood. It made me flinch to see her like this.

"Nessa?" she glanced up to me.

"I think you and I both know what you're feeling right now. Scared, alone, suicidal." her eyes widened, as if she'd say 'you knew?'. "But I have to ask you. Why so happy, Nessa? Did you intent on having a painful day like today? Please tell me, Nessa."

She softly grabbed hold of my arm. With little strength she had, I could tell she was trying to pull herself up. I helped her, groping my hands around her waist, and pulling her up in a sitting position. She lay her head on my chest. I wonder if she can feel my heart knocking against my rib cage.

"I'm t-tired of living t-this horrible life. I don't w-want to die knowing that y-you're unhappy. B-Boq, leave now, and let m-me die in peace. F-find Glinda, t-tell her how y-you feel. Y-you don't care about me enough to--." she stopped there for another harsh cramp bolted through her. Even I could feel it.

"Boq, I think this will be the l-last time--" she whispered to me. My eyes widened in horror.

"No, no, no, no, no! Don't leave me! Nessa, I love you. I loved Glinda at first, but what's the whole point in loving someone who can't even pronounce your own name right? Nessa! Please!" my voice broke out into sobs.

"No, Boq. It's too late now. What's wished is wished, and there's no turning back now." her face got closer to mine until our lips met. Like the perfect match. Then, her body went limp.

"No! NO!!!" I yelled furiously. I dug my face into her chest. I wrapped my arms around her. She could have comforted me, and vice-versa. But we thought about the negative things, and hid it from each other. And now, it's too late.

I lay her down on the floor. I kissed her rosy red lips so passionately, and hard. I forced my tongue in her mouth. I tasted her light-rose-like breath, mixed in with the harsh copper blood from her throat, or somewhere inside of her. I wanted to taste every bit of her before it was time to let her go.

Nessa POV

And then I woke up screaming with sweat covering every inch of my body.

**A/N: Nopers, it ain't over yet! Gee, it is so cool to write cliffys! Please, review--They're for Boq, and you know he needs happiness at this point! Wow, I've never felt more passionate about a novella before!!!**


	3. This Is The End Of Me

**A/N: Fellow Ozians, friends. We have been through a frightening time, and there will be other times to come. But if you let me, I'd like to try to help. I'd like to try to be. . .Cristy, Your Author. Wooow, that was a long week! I tried to update, but my computer was acting all swankified. But, I'm finally updating! Yaaay! **

Nessarose POV

"AHHH!" I screamed. I could swear, every bit of it was true. The blood, the fall, the kiss--everything was so vivid. . .too vivid. The more I thought about it, the more I regretted wishing on that star last night. Hopefully that was a nightmare, also. Regrets, nightmares, horredible things happen to me. They always have, they always do, and they always will. WHEN WILL IT ALL STOP??!!!!!!! I was going through yet another mental breakdown maybe the fifth one this week, I don't know, I always lose count after three!

That's when I realized that I was alone. No one to comfort me.

"Boq?" I tried to ask. Really, it just came out as a crackled up whisper. I felt hot tears boil, and burn my skin like an acid. I don't know why. There were mixed feelings. Sadness, anger, paranoia, betrayal. Of course I know where Boq was, he wasn't anywhere near here. He left me. He left me right now when my cold heart needs warmth. I knew he left because my father's mansion was dead quiet--you know, other than my terror screams still echoing throughout the house--.

With anger, I threw my black diamond pendant to the window, the shards flying everywhere. Stabbing me.

With every second, I got angrier--extremely angry. My face burned up as I gritted my teeth together. _how could he do this to me?! Sure, I treated him like crap everyday, that he could've been overwhelmed with some sort of emotion. _I was outraged. I started to sing. . .

"_Call me a bitch._

_Call me a beast._

_Call me 'The Wicked Witch of the East'". _

That was a little song the cruel teenagers sang outside my window every few nights. Now I know why the did. And Boq was right when he said that Elphaba was just as wicked as me. But I'm worse. I'm so wicked, I've lost everything.

I realized that it was time. It was time for me to go. I heard the trains' whistle just a few miles off. _If I'm gone, the Munchkins would be happier. They would celebrate it. I can see it now "_Ding Dong! The witch is dead, which old witch? The wicked witch! Ding dong the wicked witch is dead!" _or something around those lines!_

--- At the station---

I wheeled my way through the crowded station. I received a lot of hisses, and 'boo's, and one person even tried to spit on me! Oh, they're gonna love what I'm gonna do. _just remember, this is for Boq, and everyone else. For once, I won't be the selfish one here! _

Someone walked passed me, looking very suspicious. He was pretty tall for a Munchkin! Oh, how Boq used to make little jokes about his unusual height. I'd say: "Ya know, you look a little big to me a Munchkin!", and he'd be like, "Thank you!" oh, good times! But now, our relationship has been destroyed. . . And all because of me.

The guy was standing right in front of me, so I'd figure that I'd get his attention somehow.

"Excuse me, sir!" I confidently stated. He made a low grunt, hopefully as a reference to 'Yes, Madame Governor?'

"Uh, I was wondering. If there is any way you could know him. His name is Boq, and he's like yea big," I guessed his height with my hand in the air. Not that he could see it, he was still turned away from me.

"And, I think you would be kind enough to leave him a message from Governor Thropp. Can you tell him that she says: "I just want you to know, that I love you and that this never meant to happen. Please remember that."

It took him a while to comprehend what I said, but he eventually nodded his head, and moved to one of the benches behind me, his face still perfectly hidden from the public. _Hmmm, that's strange!_

I then heard the whistle again, much closer this time. I took a deep breath, and got close to the boundary line. My heart was pounding against my chest, I thought that it might explode. The speeding train got closer, and closer still at full speed. I gulped hard, and let go of my chair, falling in the trains' path. All of a sudden, the vibrations got harsher, and harsher. The rocks around me were shaking onto me. I heard gasps, and loud chatter and commotion going on from the five feet that I fell. Then finally, there was a sharp pain in my side. The sparks from the trains' breaks were burning through my skin onto my limbs. The harsh stench of blood surrounded me. I Nessarose Thropp had just committed suicide, and succeeded.

Boq POV

I looked down below. The one I truly loved had just killed herself. Now there was no turning back. Now, I was alone in the world. I can't believe she almost recognized me. She meant what she said, they were her last words. This horrible life of mine wasn't suppose to happen. When her father died, she had no one. So little nice me decided to pitch in, and help her out. HA! That was like adding gasoline to a fire.

There was a silence until the long train had finally ran its' course on the tracks. All that was left was Nessa's body squished, and cut in half from the tracks. All covered in blood. The people around me yelled cheerfully in unison, jumping, and dancing with extreme happiness. I was the only one on his knees, bawling his eyes out. I loved her, and she loved me. She constantly reminded me of her part, but for me, it's too late.

**A/N: Yeah, its' still not over. Boy, am I good at writing death scenes. (my friends said so) I don't know if that's a good thing, or I should be scared right now. Review? Once again, it could cure Boq's poor broken heart. **


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